How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide
Writing an obituary is one of the last things we do for someone we love — and it often falls to us at the hardest possible moment. If you are staring at a blank page, unsure where to begin, this guide will walk you through it gently, step by step. You do not need to be a writer. You just need a few details and a little structure, and the words will come.
By the end, you will know exactly what to include, how to organize it, how long it should be, and how to capture the person — not just the facts. There is a fill-in template and a full example below you can adapt.
What is an obituary?
An obituary is a short written notice that announces a person's death and celebrates their life. It typically appears in a newspaper, on a funeral home's website, or online, and it serves three purposes at once: it informs the community that someone has passed, it shares the details of any services, and it honors who that person was.
An obituary is different from a death notice, which is usually a brief, paid, just-the-facts announcement. An obituary is longer and more personal — it tells the story of a life.
What to include in an obituary
Most obituaries are built from the same core pieces. You will not need every detail for every person, so use what fits and leave the rest:
- The announcement. Full name (including maiden name or nickname if commonly used), age, the city where they lived, and the date they passed. Cause of death is optional.
- A short biography. Where and when they were born, their parents, where they grew up, education, military service, career, and the milestones that shaped their life.
- The things that made them them. Their passions, faith, humor, the way they loved people. A single specific detail does more than a paragraph of adjectives.
- Family members. Traditionally written as "survived by" and "preceded in death by," in a consistent order — spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings.
- Service information. The date, time, and location of the funeral, memorial, visitation, or celebration of life, and whether services are public or private.
- Special requests. Where to send flowers, or "in lieu of flowers," a charity for donations, and an optional closing line or farewell.
How to write an obituary, step by step
- Gather the basic facts first. Names, dates, places, family, and service details. Having these in front of you removes most of the blank-page anxiety.
- Write the announcement sentence. Start simple: "[Name], [age], of [city], passed away on [date]." The first line is the hardest; once it is down, the rest flows.
- Sketch the life story in order. Birth, growing up, education or service, career, family, later years.
- Add the personal heart. Ask: what would they want to be remembered for? This is what makes an obituary feel like them and not a résumé.
- List the family — "survived by" and "preceded in death by," in a consistent order.
- Add the service details and any requests.
- Read it aloud and trim. Reading it out loud catches awkward phrasing and helps you feel whether it sounds like the person.
How long should an obituary be?
There is no single rule, but most obituaries run 200 to 500 words. Newspapers often charge by the line or word, so length can affect cost. Online obituaries (like those hosted by funeral homes) are usually free and can be as long as you like. A good rule of thumb: long enough to capture the person, short enough that every line earns its place.
Choosing a tone
There is no "correct" tone — only the one that fits the person. An obituary can be warm and traditional, formal and dignified, religious, or celebratory (for a celebration of life). Pick the tone the person themselves would have wanted.
A fill-in obituary template
Here is a simple structure you can adapt. For more options by style and situation, see our free obituary templates and 25 obituary examples.
[Full name], [age], of [city, state], passed away on [date] at [place, optional].
[He/She/They] was born on [birth date] in [birthplace] to [parents' names]. [A few sentences on growing up, education, military service, and career.]
[A paragraph on who they were — their passions, faith, family, the things people loved about them, a specific memory or trait.]
[Name] is survived by [family members and cities]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names].
A [service type] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity].
A short example
Margaret "Peggy" Ellen Carter, 82, of Asheville, North Carolina, passed away peacefully on March 3, 2026, surrounded by her family.
Peggy was born on July 14, 1943, in Knoxville, Tennessee, to Robert and Alice Hayes. She married her high school sweetheart, James Carter, in 1964, and together they built a life and a hardware store that anchored their small town for forty years.
Peggy was happiest with dirt under her nails and a grandchild at her side. She grew tomatoes she insisted were the best in the county, never forgot a birthday, and could talk a stranger into friendship in under five minutes.
She is survived by her husband, James; her children, Susan (Mark) and David (Lena); five grandchildren; and her sister, Joan. She was preceded in death by her parents and her brother, Tom.
A celebration of Peggy's life will be held on March 9, 2026, at 11:00 a.m. at First Methodist Church in Asheville. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the local food bank she volunteered with for thirty years.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Listing facts without feeling — include at least one specific, personal detail.
- Leaving out service information, or publishing before details are confirmed.
- Misspelling names — read the family list back to someone who knows them.
- Trying to make it perfect on the first pass. Write a complete draft first, then refine.
- Going it completely alone — ask a family member for one story or detail.
Let the words come a little easier
Writing about someone you love should not feel like a test. If the blank page is too heavy right now, Eulogia can draft a complete, heartfelt obituary from a few details in about two minutes — at whatever length you need — and you can edit every word until it sounds just like them. It is free to try, and there is no pressure to get it perfect; we will help you start.
Frequently asked questions
What should never be included in an obituary?
For privacy and safety, avoid combining the deceased's full birth date with mother's maiden name, home address, or other details that could enable identity theft. Cause of death is optional and should be included only if the family wishes.
How long should an obituary be?
Most obituaries run 200 to 500 words. Online obituaries can be longer since they are usually free; newspaper obituaries are often shorter to manage cost.
How much does an obituary cost?
Online and funeral-home obituaries are typically free. Newspaper obituaries are usually paid, often by the line or word, and can range from under $100 to several hundred dollars depending on the publication and length.
What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?
A death notice is a brief, factual announcement such as name, age, and service time. An obituary is longer and tells the story of the person's life.
Who usually writes the obituary?
Most often a close family member, sometimes with help from the funeral director. Whoever knew and loved the person can write it.
Can I write an obituary before the funeral details are finalized?
Yes. You can write the life-story portion first and add the service details once they are confirmed, or note that services are to be announced.